I slip past
the lining
of a golden
ending
suspended somewhere
in
be
twe
en
nestled into cracks
in the system
tearing down
the concrete
high paced
death
machines
I am
breathing
faster, faster
now
it blurs
a mesh of
who I used to be
who I used to
know
sooner or
later
I’ll sink into that
soft earth
swallow the ashes
let go of the
knowing
feeling
smell
of it all
Nicole Marie
Profound
Such a large word to use for my little poem!!!!! Much appreciated, thank you.
I like the imagery of the “high paced death machines.”
Thank you! This came to me while I drove to work early this morning, passing a large truck. I always get nervous on the highway when I’m surrounded by those things.
Hmm. I read this and thought of your running alongside traffic.
Aw, not running IN traffic?
I like this, but I’m curious about the format. Specifically, why was the word between divided into three separate lines? Not criticizing, just wondering.
For some reason I tend to break my poems up into very thin lines. The between being broken up like that is to sort of have a visual of something literally being inside of something else, if that makes sense. Maybe it would look better – and make more sense – if between was only broken in half, rather than in three lines? I just thought it looked better that way, and in my head made more sense – like something wedged into several spaces of that something else. Does that make sense!? Hey, I invite the questions. It means I’ve sparked your interest in some way! So, thank you
Let me say SENSE one more time.
Ha! You’re welcome. I just wanted to understand the purpose.
Loved the rhythym on this – faster and more tightly wound until loosening up at the end, with a sigh.
Thank you so much for taking the time to feel the rhythm, and not just read the words.
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