Furious Friday

Main Entry: black

Part of Speech: adjective

Definition: angry

Synonyms: enraged, fierce, furious, hostile, menacing, resentful, sour, sullen, threatening

Antonyms: happy

So, BLACK Friday is properly named then, isn’t it? I made the mistake of heading out to the store today; not for a $200 flat screen, or a gift set of boxers with a reduced price. All I needed were some simple toiletries. (Joe will make fun of me for using this word, since I hate when he uses it. It feels so outdated to me, but it worked best here. Joe also said “stocking feet” once. Ugh.)

But why did I go to Kmart? Why didn’t I just go to Walgreen’s, or Rite Aid, or CVS, or some drug store that would probably still be overrun with morons looking for a deal on shampoo, but that would probably prove to be just a tiny bit easier to deal with than the madness I dealt with this morning?

So there I was, standing in line with my tiny items, while the woman in front of me argued with the cashier about the price of her new pillows versus the price advertised in the circular, while a woman across from her argued with her cashier about a clearance item not being included in the “buy one get one half off” deal. I’m even pretty sure that the cashier was trying to explain to her that the ugly shoes she was trying to buy would be cheaper because of their reduced price. But, sadly she was stricken with stupid shopper syndrome, and was convinced the Kmart employee was trying to get one over on her.

Someone said to me the other day, that even if an item is cheaper when bought alone, he would probably still get caught up in the “get two of these for this price!” “deal”, just because the word “deal” sucks us in, without always thinking it through.

“Wawa Sizzlers could be $2 a piece, but a sign saying I can get 2 Sizzlers for $5 would probably still make me think, yes! What a great deal!


And so I finally made my way through the line, my transaction taking half the time of the woman’s in front of me, with maybe 4 more items than I had.

I managed to make it towards the exit without throwing any elbows, but had to steer around the idiots checking their receipts for “errors” in the middle of the exit lane.

Then I made mistake numero dos.

I’ve been dying to pick up the new Tori Amos album, “Night of Hunters”, because myself and a friend of mine are going to see her next week.

Kmart didn’t have it – of course – or else I didn’t have the time/patience to find it because I was being herded along by the gentle pushing of carts and small children.

So where did I decide to go? Best Buy. Why? Why would I go to Electronics Heaven on this particular day?

Surprisingly enough I found a parking spot, far, far away from everyone else. (We have a new vehicle. Shiny and new and scratch free. The first shiny and new vehicle I’ve ever been lucky enough to own. If a soccer mom bangs up my new SUV with the door of her silver minivan because her hands are too full of Kids Bop CD’s…I won’t be smiling. (I don’t mean to stereotype here. Her minivan could be white, or even blue. ;))

I got in and out unscathed, hopped back into the truck, and got the hell out of there. The most traffic I experienced was while I was still in the parking lot.

Now here I am, home, safe, listening to good music and avoiding the dumb lines and any possibility of being trampled to death.

Sure, I like when expensive things are cheap. But do I like camping outside of a Target in 30 degree weather an hour after filling my belly with wine and turkey? Do I enjoy arguing with a complete stranger over who was in line first for the Xbox?

These things just aren’t worth it to me. Today sucks.

End of rant.



Filed under Uncategorized

14 responses to “Furious Friday

  1. I feel your pain. Having worked in retail cured me of thinking there was something interesting in moving among the crowds. I had wanted to strategically just get out of the house today, but knowing I didn’t have to, I let myself sleep and stayed in.

    I hope the rest of your holiday season is wonderful, even magical.

    • Thank you, Re! I hope the rest of your holiday season is wonderful as well. 🙂

      I am so happy to not be working in retail anymore. (I used to work at Ulta – A BEAUTY SUPPLY STORE. Can you even imagine the amount of horrible-ness I had to deal with on Black Friday?)

  2. you can get WaWa sizzlers at 2 for $5??? and i’ve also been paying $2 for only one??? sheeesh…i dunno how u could possibly go to any of these madhouses today. u didn’t really – did you? and what are they called if not “toiletries”? continue…

    • Unfortunately Tony, I really did go. I’m stupid. But I survived! And I didn’t even have to kill anyone in the process. 🙂

      And I suppose there is no other single word for “those things you use in the bathroom”….but I usually prefer to refer to them as “those things you use in the bathroom”. I just have a dislike for the word toiletries.

  3. I love individuals but hate people so retail stores are dead to me on black Friday! But that is a really good deal on Wa Wa sizzlers, is that offer good online! ?!? 🙂

  4. I went to Wallmart on Friday too, but just to lollygag. (We don’t have one near us at home and are visiting in Louisiana and figured, when in Rome….) My daughter and I played a game: find 5 things you’d never find in a store back home. We found 1. green maraschino cherries! 2. jellybean flavored syrup! 3. a pink gun! 4. DIY jerky cure kit! 5. cammo for a toddler! and bonus 6. grasshoppers in chicken blood! To us, this was as good as going to an amusement park.

    • LOL, unfortunately our Walmarts here in New Jersey are not as exciting. Here you can get Cover Girl mascara at a discounted price, and a 2-pack of sunblock for pretty cheap.

      I want the DIY jerky cure kit!


  5. Sleeping in is worth the extra money.

  6. I went to Walmart on Black Friday last year. It was the worst day of my life. Never, ever again.

So...what do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s