Spamalicious!

After reading hilarious posts about comment spam from my blogging friends Edward Hotspur (my left index finger keeps wanting to spell your last name “Hotsput”), and Curly Carly, I’ve decided to share the very few – but pretty funny – spam I received on this lovely Thursday morning (afternoon?).

1.) Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple WordPress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at. WordPress Seo Plugin

 

Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. But, I was never very good at math; how is my keyword density doing? It might be around 6%. Is that too much? Too many rules.

But wait…THERE’S EVEN MORE!

I just confused you with all of this useless information…BUT HERE’S A PLUGIN THAT WILL DO ALL OF THIS FOR YOU!

Huh?

 

2.) Another great site about this niche you can find over here sexdating!!! Let me know what you think about this site and i’ll subscribe to your blog!

Maybe I should check out this whole sexdating thing…I could use more subscribers…

 

3.) This website is realy nice! I just wanna say thank you for sharing this kind of sex-dating information with us.

You’re welcome! I know what I’m talkin’ about.

 

4.) Do you like the game tetris? Play Tetris online now!

Why…yes! Yes I do! Thanks!

 

Happy Thursday, everyone.

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9 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized, Writing

9 responses to “Spamalicious!

  1. My first Monday Rant was a short list of aggravations and this crap was on it.

    Mine all seem to begin, “Hello Webmaster!” Like I’m gonna read anything that starts off with that. I wonder if they get business from this stuff …

  2. Remember when spam was a tin of meat that you could deep fry to help with your clogged arteries?

    Happy days, now we get the chance to meet all sort of interesting people.

    Jim

  3. Thanks for the shout-out! I’m glad you got some good spam. Luckily these people seem to be equal-opportunity spammers.

  4. At least you don’t want to type Hotspot, or Hotspurt, or Shotput. Or Steve.

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