Pessimistic Predictions



When Joe and I were planning our Disney World vacation/honeymoon (finally!), obviously I was excited. We booked the flight, the hotel, the whole shebang just three weeks before we were to embark on our magical journey to The Happiest Place On Earth. So while most people, immersed in such a scenario, are fidgeting with excitement at their work desks, planning every vacation day out in their minds…what was I doing?

I was picturing a shoelace caught in an escalator and me suddenly legless, four-car pileups on the way to work, a freak explosion erupting in my face while cooking dinner, murdered while fumbling for keys outside a dark house….

bad news,

bad news,



Disney and death don’t exactly mesh together.

I held my breath as we boarded our flight from Philadelphia to Orlando, right by the airplane wing.

“Can you assist in an emergency?” the flight attendant asked the few of us seated in this area. Each one of us was required to call out an individual “yes”.

Then I was asked if I was at least fifteen, since that is how old you have to be to assist.

I stared while she demonstrated how to make use of the oxygen mask, the life vest, the seatbelt. When all was said and done I ordered a Jack and Coke.

Once we’d landed and made it out and to the resort, I breathed a sigh of relief and let Joe in on how crazy I was being. He laughed and told me not to worry. We had an amazing time.

But it isn’t just vacation, you see. At any given moment my brain will shoot out the sunlight and bring on the darkness, only it most enjoys playing target practice when I’m looking forward to something.

The only comfort I find when the scary kicks in is in thinking: how likely would it be that I am predicting my own death, right before it happens? Then surely I have some sort of powers!

Perhaps it’s just all that time I spend watching the ID channel, and writing about the macabre. Either way, one of these days my prediction will be right, but that’s okay. We all gotta go some time, so let’s make the most of this crazy life.

Does anyone else find their brains churning out such unwanted scenarios?

Oh, and check this out.


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28 responses to “Pessimistic Predictions

  1. I’m glad this was not your Final Destination. *elbow nudge

    I do that shit too. The Jake and Coke line was pretty funny, totally typical of me. I have that inner monologue going on most days, if not, something is wrong. Bring back the monologue! What’s happening to me! I’m cracking up! Maybe it’s an aneurysm in the making! I should drink more water just in case! What if my stomach explodes from drinking TOO MUCH FUCKING WATER!!!!!!!!

    Oh, cool. Ancient Aliens is on…

  2. “how likely would it be that I am predicting my own death, right before it happens? Then surely I have some sort of powers!” YES! I do this too. And then I get sad that I had predicted my death, but won’t be able to share this gift with the world because I’ll be dead.

  3. I have a knack for picturing worst case scenarios about the most benign things….I chalk it up to an over-active imagination. Glad you were safe and able to enjoy yourself!

  4. Only in the dark of the night when sleep has run away laughing and the moon is down.


  5. Sometimes a pessimistic bent does have its advantages…in my work, the unexpected always lurks unseen, just around the corner – and being caught unawares can have consequences ranging from mere financial ruin, to the death of a co-worker or even an innocent bystander; so it in the best interest of myself and everyone around me to always be thinking, “How bad can it get? What is the worst that can happen?” There is no scenario as frightening as what I can imagine…so if I am prepared for THAT, I am prepared for anything that DOES come along…if only in my own mind, so that I can respond instead of react to the inevitable unforeseen – because no one can ever truly see all that may occur.

  6. Yep all the time.
    Fortunately I don’t really care so it’s easy to ignore.

    When my ticket gets punched there won’t be much I can do about it.
    I do look both ways before crossing though.

  7. I imagine all sorts of ways I might die, but in truth, I predict I will somehow live on.

  8. Lately I’m doing that as well! I’ve never had this, but now, even when just using the stairs, I go ‘what if I slip and fall, and my neck breaks…?’ and so on.
    I hate it, I used to be a brave human being and everything. The tides are turning it seems. Maybe it’s just something you get when growing up?

  9. Sometimes my mind wanders to these dark places, but not often. I don’t think about death. I don’t know of that’s good or bad.

  10. I think about death a lot more than I ever used to. I think it helps me actually feel less morbid about it. It’s not taboo, it’s just a fact of life.

    Do you ever watch (or did you read) Game of Thrones? The sword/dance instructor says to the young girl Aria, paraphrased, “There is but one god and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death. … Not today.” I love that.

    Hope you had a fun time! xoxo

  11. Always, when I’m about to go to bed or something. That’s when I realize I need to brush up on my bowstaff skills or take up running or something.

    • Ha! Running is always a good one, coming from a runner. 😉 At least I know I could run pretty fast if a killer is lurking in my home!!!

      • Haha I always doubt my ability to run during the Zombie Apocalypse/From a serial killer BUT the other night there was a mouse– A MOUSE– in my bedroom. The amount of distance I was able to cover before my boyfriend could even form the “Wha” sound for “W-T-F” was worthy of olympic gold.

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