“Oh guuuuuurl, listen to this!”
Let’s face it, we’re all guilty of making someone’s ears ring at some point. How could we possibly walk through life without ever whispering at least one thing we’d never ever want a certain someone to hear? Hell, a few things! A dozen! Maybe TWO dozen! Gossip for er’body!
But it’s all fun and laughter-at-someone-else’s-expense until somebody starts stirring your pot, isn’t it? You find out someone may be saying something not so nice about you and suddenly that gossipy smirk is wiped from your face and you’re interrogating the source:
“Well…what did they say?”
“I don’t understand, what would anyone have to say about ME?!”
“Tell me who it is! I have a few choice words for them!”
“I’m perfect, fuck ’em!”
“MY LIFE IS OVER”
::cries::
But…what the hell did I do?!?!
Dammit. Nothing humbles a shit talker faster than becoming the target.
But so goes the sad truth – while we’d like to think we’ll never say an ill word against our fellow (wo)man again, we will. We will again, and again, and again the next day. Because when somebody does somethin’ stupid we just have to inform each other of said stupidity. Be it your next door neighbor or that bum on 2nd & South. Just don’t tell us we’ve been talked about.
I’d rather be a hipocrate here in the dark. Alone. (Don’t go talkin’ about me now.)
But in all seriousness, maybe we should try to zip it once in a while. It doesn’t feel so nice when it’s us, right?
Nicole Marie
wordsandotherthings.wordpress.com 
I’m try to be aware of when I’m about to gossip, and run through a quick mental checklist before I do, mostly about the potential slander of it, and whether I know of anything to support it.
Generally, I try to avoid gossiping. But, like you say, sometimes it just comes out.
As far as gossiping about me, have at it and have fun! I already know who I am, and since about the middle of high school, I don’t care a whole lot what most people think of me.
(Present company excepted.)
(And let me know who’s in on it. I really have a few rumors about me I need to start!)
Guap,
I’m trying hard to be aware of when I’m about to spew some nonsense, too. I care WAY too much about what others think of me, so where is my right to say anything about anyone else!? Not that any of us have that right, but you know what I mean.
And while I’m still learning to zip it I’ve never said anything about the almighty Guapowitz! What words are there to whisper expect “awesome”?
Lets start rumors about ourselves 😉
Ooh, ooh!
Can we start with the one about the cheez whiz and the dustbuster?
What the hell was that guy thinking!
Rumors and gossiping are things that too many people have an interest in. There are, however, some times when certain things need to be known. I used to talk a lot about people behind their back, but as I grown older (and hopefully wiser) it’s something I seldom do. I find no joy in it and often times get annoyed when others do it.
Twindaddy,
I agree that some things HAVE to be said aloud. Most definitely.
Sigh…how’s you?
I’m good ❤ I just want everyone who reads this to know…the idea for this blog post came from a conversation that happened with someone I know outside of the blogosphere, that just made me think!
I didn’t assume anything. Gossip is everywhere. Work, school, neighborhoods, new, etc. It’s amazing how interested people are in everyone else’s business.
You’re right, twindaddy. And see!! That was ME again assuming people may start talking and I got all paranoid and felt the need to explain myself. My head is gonna explode!
Lol. STAHP!
I’m tryiiinnnggggggggg
Do you need a drink? I know I could use one…
Right now I have a hipstery latte from starbucks. Later I will have ALL the beer.
ME TOO!!!
#winning
I KNOW!
Good point, Nicole! And why is it we crave gossip? Is it to make ourselves feel better? Are we bored? These questions just popped into my brain. I don’t know…
As a gossiper myself, I’d say it’s various reasons… some of the most common are:
– I’m curious to know the (potential) truth about something.
– I’m upset and need to vent about something which happened to me. I might even need some advice before confronting the person who I think did me wrong.
– If I can’t share what I just heard or saw, I’m sure I’m going to implode.
– I want to be entertained.
– It gives me satisfaction. (I guess this has to do with the Feeling Better Than Others kind of thing).
What if its positive gossip?! (Hey once in a while it is!)
Then again, if you have something nice to say, say it to their face 😉
Good point! Good gossip is okay in my book 🙂
I’ll admit it: I can be a gossip. And I just assume that people are always talking about me, but that’s mostly because they’re assuredly jealous.
I wish I could look at it with such confidence! I assume everyone is saying something horrible about me.
I often find that the people who are always the first to want to reveal things about other people are the ones who have the most to hide themselves.
I agree with that too, Jen – in a lot of cases we are simply deflecting away from ourselves.
It’s really hard to put out there, but I am extremely insecure, and when I run my mouth I think it’s sometimes simply a way of pushing the notice elsewhere. Hopefully admiring to this will make me more aware of when I’m saying something unnecessary about someone else.
Oh, we’ve all been there! I read somewhere that we don’t like it others what we secretly fear in ourselves. I wouldn’t say that’s true all the time, but I have noticed that I’m sometimes quick to point out something about someone else that makes me insecure on some level. For instance, a woman tearing down other woman is really her saying, “I don’t feel as attractive/smart/successful as she is.” Mindfulness is really important in curing yourself of this. Some days I’m better than others 😉
Perfectly said, and I go back and forth as well 🙂
I’ve always tried to have the general rule that if it’s not something I’d say to your face then I don’t say it behind your back.
Makes perfect sense. I need to remember this!
Loved your post Nicole as well as eading all of the great responses (you have such cool friends!) I’m definitely not above gossip–I still like the occasional beer and bash fest with my best bud. And, as we get older, we do more beer than we do bash! Except for the hangover, being an old lady in this instance is GOOD. FINALLY, I don’t give near the crap I used to give about what people think of me. The cool thing is, I’m not near as nosy or judgemental as I was 20 years ago either. They have seen me at my worst and me at theirs…finally a truce (coupled with understanding was called. It’s awesome!
“reading”…not eading…goodness. I’m not even drinking beer and I can’t type 🙂
Thank you, pretty lady!! (And I definitely like to think I am in extremely good company here on WordPress. I love it!) Beer and bash fests ARE fun, aren’t they? But you’re right, I believe as we age our obsession with the he-said-she-said fades more and more.
Thank you for stopping by 🙂
If something needs to be said, there is nothing Freudian about it. There’s a difference between ‘gossip’ that you heard from a friend of a friend of an acquaintance, and totally verified information.
Having said that, I love learning things and then keeping them to myself. Eventually, if something is important enough, it will get out without me having to say a word.
At least, that’s what I heard.
I can’t help but gossip. I honestly think it’s fun. I don’t know if that makes me a bad person but I just can’t or even want to stop. I wouldn’t share anything people specifically told me was a secret but if they don’t point that out, you can be sure it’s Kiki time! I assume that people don’t care if their story gets out to others, since they didn’t spell out how much of a secret it had to stay. I’m not sure if I make these assumptions because they seem logical, or because I wanna make myself feel better about sharing something I should’ve understood the confidentiality of… after all, I know that people sometimes think it’s should be obvious what has to stay a secret. On the other hand, it’s not my fault that I’m not a mindreader… 😉
I guess it’s in human nature to be curious about others, as well as wanting to share juicy bits of other people’s lives we just can’t understand, or how someone was a complete asshole towards us. We need to vent. So I’m actually quite tolerable when it comes to gossip about me. I would be more worried if people did not talk about me, than I am when they do. No gossip whatsoever must mean I’m doing something in life wrong… perhaps isolating myself too much, ha ha.
But of course, it all depends on what kind of stories go around… if someone has spilled the beans about something I told them was a secret (which happened like once, I don’t have that many big secrets- I’m open about almost all my bad sides and past failures) it makes me pissy. Same thing when people make assumptions about me based on what they heard from a friend of a friend. As Edward Hotspur points out, there is a difference between telling the truth and just forward something you heard from a friend of a friend of a friend. I guess it’s important to try and evaluate the source before sharing the gossip.
Lili,
Thank you for your comment 🙂 You and Edward both make a very good point – you’re right about evaluating the source. That draws a very clear line between gossip and factual information. And when it’s true, is it considered gossip if you’re passing it on to someone else? Hmmm…..
In my circles, it’s gossip whether it’s true or not. But there’s a difference between good and bad gossip. Good gossip is truthful gossip, no matter how many people it’s being passed on to. Bad gossip consist of lies, or stories where you can’t be sure if they’re true or not. Or when you’re saying mean things about others based on what they look like or what they’re doing with their lives. However, me and a few of my friends take great pleasure in trashing other people, so to us the last example is in fact good gossip. 😉