My Sanity Has Three Phases

Thanks, Pinterest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel as though my life has three phases, each lasting for a steady week or so before transitioning to the next.

Here they are in no particular order (except normalcy is never ever directly followed by another week of the same. that’s just crazy talk.):

Phase One: Normalcy. 

You know, just day-to-day whatever-ness. Work, food, wine, maybe a stubborn coffee ring on the cheap kitchen counter that needs a good scrub with a Mr. Eraser. Nothing to make me want to pound my head against the refrigerator.

Phase Two: Absolute fucking chaos. 

Just as phase one is winding down, I arrive home from work to find out the small dog has pissed on our couch in smelly revenge when husband took away her rawhide. Well played, asshole, well played. Cue us lifting it onto a snow pile on the front lawn. At least I’ll be getting a new couch out of the deal (Until then we squeeze onto the loveseat. Not romantic when two dogs are trying to squeeze in there, too). Perhaps something else is destroyed, a customer calls me a name, we get another eighteen feet of snow. Things continue to snowball until I am in the fetal position ripping out tufts of hair, probably with some kind of injury by now (to top things off), and likely doing shots of vodka before noon.

Phase Three: A refreshing stream of good luck. 

Like, laughter and rainbows and puppies that don’t piss on couches. That’s like heaven on earth in this household, people. In times like these the zoo doesn’t wake the household until at least 9:30 AM. The coffee maker doesn’t take so damn long to brew my cup (the Keurig is dying on us). I have three days off from work and we actually get the Christmas decorations put away before Valentine’s Day.

I love to see others smiling, having an awesome day, that kind of day we all wish we could have ALL. THE. TIME. Yesterday was that day for me and I’m still smiling.

Ah, refreshing. 

Yesterday morning I woke up and checked my Twitter for the first time in several days; The Daily Post had shared my piece I’d written in response to the Weekly Writing Challenge. AWESOME!! Being recognized by WordPress twice within just a few months made me hold my head a little higher. It feels pretty damn cool to say the least.

Then Joe and I headed into NYC last night for a taping of That Metal Show. With a little help I’d managed to score us free tickets and it was an amazing experience. I’d never been to a taping of any kind before, and the entire process was very interesting (clap here, look here, nod here, now laugh). Even better? We were seated right by the area each guest entered through, Myles Kennedy grabbed my hand, and I’m pretty sure my giant noggin will be all over your television screen this Saturday night. So if you’re a fan of the show (or if you just want to see me trying not to look awkward on TV) tune in to VH1 Classic this weekend at 11PM!!

Some highlights:

Myself and Mark Tremonti of Alter Bridge!

The set.

 

It was a great time and a very energetic crowd. The cast and crew were so nice.

Hosts and guests mulling about after the taping.

 

 

We went to bed all smiles last night. And this morning? I woke up to this.

I’ve been waiting months, hoping Offbeat Bride would feature us, and they did. Best day (and a half) ever. 

So, cheers to Phase Three. I’m dreading the end of it all; by this time next week I should be buried under my comforter with an empty bottle of wine.

What’s the best day you’ve had recently? 

P.S. – That awesome banner up there with me all half-zombified? My extremely bad-ass friend Adam over at Chowderhead made that for me. So if you’d like to spruce up your own page with a fresh look, please click here and hire this dude to get the job done. You won’t be disappointed.