The Most Outlandish Tale About Anxiety and Depression Ever Told.

 

Wait wait, the story doesn’t start here!  This is a blog hop, people!  Click HERE to start from the beginning.

I have the tendency to park at least 8,000 miles away from the mall, somewhere near that one overhead light that blew out weeks ago and no one ever fixed, the only sign of civilization a flattened soda bottle and an empty fast food wrapper and some guy in dirty jeans and a windbreaker in the middle of July smoking a cigarette by the soda bottle and fast food wrapper.

So now I was half walking half running to my car, fully expecting the elderly lady with the white hair to pop out from the shadows with a nail file pointed in my direction. My stomach was in knots and suddenly my fingers had turned into carrots, and there I was fumbling with my keys horror movie style while the invisible villain breathed down my neck.

Finally inside, I locked the doors and whirled around to check the backseat. As usual, no serial killers.

 
Almost home, my breath had finally gone from about-to-give-birth to some definition of normal, and instead of searching for a paper bag to breathe into I was now in want of wine, tightly drawn curtains and some depressing ‘90s alternative rock, so I changed into the Disney pajama pants I hadn’t washed in at least two weeks (they smelled a little questionable but I put them on anyway) and crawled into bed, ready to break the world record for feeling the most sorry for myself.

Click HERE to continue the story.

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19 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized, Writing

19 responses to “The Most Outlandish Tale About Anxiety and Depression Ever Told.

  1. I think you may have my pajamas…

  2. I like how a nail file is the weapon of choice. I also like how so many of us included a weapon. In real life my weapon is a phone. My husband’s is a giant flash light.

    • Your weapons are similar to those my husband and I wield in real life, LOL! Mine is a phone, his is a camouflage hat with LED lights built in. We’d likely have to use our legs to get us far away from a bad situation.

  3. Pingback: The Blog Hop Starts Here!!! | Chowderhead

  4. I actually did check my backseat for murderers Wednesday night, so that’s not fiction. Not that they usually hang out in church parking lots at 8:45pm, but still. However, I have never had carrot-finger syndrome.

  5. Kay

    I love that your fingers turn into carrots, of all things.

  6. Perfect transition haha, I love it. This is my third time reading it today. I looked at it on my phone at work and this is not an easy thing to do…

  7. Whew! I’m glad you made it home. Will the old lady be lurking behind the couch? Maybe she’ll be wearing some stinky pajamas!

  8. I loveee your blog ! i just came across it today and ive been reading. youre great ! i actually have a blog of my own and i wonder if you can read it and give me a few key pointers or something so it doesnt get boring or anything. pleaseee 🙂
    -Charliespeakss.
    http://charliespeakss.wordpress.com/

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