After today’s post, I did a few things around the house and stepped out for a moment to run to the bank.
While I won’t get into my issues with idiot drivers (“road rage” is a topic I’m sure we could all discuss for hours), this rant does begin with the gentleman who decided to back out of his parking spot in front of me, after I had clearly started to back out of mine first. The calm, rational side of my brain told me, “Maybe he didn’t see you, Nicole! No big deal. Just give a friendly little beep and everyone will go on their jolly way.” But the side of my brain that bursts into flames every time something dumb like this happens caused me to talk angrily and loudly to myself (it’s okay, my windows were up), and lay on my horn like there was no tomorrow.
Alright, I probably could have handled this better, but these things make me wonder. How did you not see me? Were you on your cell phone? Were you picking your nose? Did you just decide to back out without looking, because clearly if someone else was also backing out of a spot, it was their job to stop for you?
Anyway, as I was yelling out loud to no one – and someone – in particular, the man stopped and craned his neck out of his own window, mustering the dirtiest look he could throw in my direction. Was I supposed to be intimidated?
I rolled my own window down, just in time for him to open his door and say, “what did you say to me?”.
And what if I responded with, “I said you’re a big douche bag”?
Was he planning on exiting his vehicle and brawling with me in the middle of the day in the bank parking lot?
Instead I said, “I SAID I WAS BACKING OUT FIRST”. With this he closed his door and went on his merry way.
My point here is I wish everyone could have heard the danger in his voice; the condescending way he looked at me and spoke to me. It makes me sick to my stomach, the way some grown men (not all, but quite a large number), will speak to females of all ages, let alone a young woman who – in my opinion of myself – does not look very intimidating.
A few weeks ago, as I was spinning in circles at work taking care of a full ten table section, I gave one table in particular (2 men and 2 women) a quick smile and greeting, followed by, “what can I get for you?”. Now I say this nicely, but with an obvious “I’m in a rush” in my voice.
The airport is different than your standard sit-down restaurant experience. Things are fast-paced; people have flights to catch! No one plans on lingering.
Long story short, the man was extremely rude (and condescending), telling me that “this is how the restaurant business is” (because obviously I don’t know);when I apologized (although I shouldn’t have), for seeming to be in a rush, he gently tapped the red bow I wore in my hair that day and said, “it’s alright, that bow must be cutting off the circulation to your brain”. I smiled, took the order, and walked away.
The women sat there and said nothing. They allowed this man – one of those women most likely this man’s wife – to speak to me as if I was worthless.
I witness this on an almost daily basis, no matter where I may be.
How do these men treat the other women in their lives, when they think treating a 23 year old with such disrespect is perfectly acceptable? Do they have daughters? God, I hope not. What kind of example are they setting for them? Would they not ring the neck of any man who dared treat her like that?
It really is pathetic. I am so lucky to be able to say I am one of the lucky few who has snagged a man with manners. I would be out of my mind embarrassed if Joe ever treated anyone (woman OR man!) with such disregard; and he never would. This goes for us women, as well; we should treat our male counterparts with respect, too.
We should all – myself included – learn to bite our tongues a little more.