Tag Archives: disrespect

“What did you just say to me?” “I said you’re a douche bag.”

After today’s post, I did a few things around the house and stepped out for a moment to run to the bank.

While I won’t get into my issues with idiot drivers (“road rage” is a topic I’m sure we could all discuss for hours), this rant does begin with the gentleman who decided to back out of his parking spot in front of me, after I had clearly started to back out of mine first. The calm, rational side of my brain told me, “Maybe he didn’t see you, Nicole! No big deal. Just give a friendly little beep and everyone will go on their jolly way.” But the side of my brain that bursts into flames every time something dumb like this happens caused me to talk angrily and loudly to myself (it’s okay, my windows were up), and lay on my horn like there was no tomorrow.

Alright, I probably could have handled this better, but these things make me wonder. How did you not see me? Were you on your cell phone? Were you picking your nose? Did you just decide to back out without looking, because clearly if someone else was also backing out of a spot, it was their job to stop for you?

Anyway, as I was yelling out loud to no one – and someone – in particular, the man stopped and craned his neck out of his own window, mustering the dirtiest look he could throw in my direction. Was I supposed to be intimidated?

I rolled my own window down, just in time for him to open his door and say, “what did you say to me?”.

And what if I responded with, “I said you’re a big douche bag”?

Was he planning on exiting his vehicle and brawling with me in the middle of the day in the bank parking lot?

Instead I said, “I SAID I WAS BACKING OUT FIRST”. With this he closed his door and went on his merry way.

My point here is I wish everyone could have heard the danger in his voice; the condescending way he looked at me and spoke to me. It makes me sick to my stomach, the way some grown men (not all, but quite a large number), will speak to females of all ages, let alone a young woman who – in my opinion of myself – does not look very intimidating.

A few weeks ago, as I was spinning in circles at work taking care of a full ten table section, I gave one table in particular (2 men and 2 women) a quick smile and greeting, followed by, “what can I get for you?”. Now I say this nicely, but with an obvious “I’m in a rush” in my voice.

The airport is different than your standard sit-down restaurant experience. Things are fast-paced; people have flights to catch! No one plans on lingering.

Long story short, the man was extremely rude (and condescending), telling me that “this is how the restaurant business is” (because obviously I don’t know);when I apologized (although I shouldn’t have), for seeming to be in a rush, he gently tapped the red bow I wore in my hair that day and said, “it’s alright, that bow must be cutting off the circulation to your brain”. I smiled, took the order, and walked away.

The women sat there and said nothing. They allowed this man – one of those women most likely this man’s wife – to speak to me as if I was worthless.

I witness this on an almost daily basis, no matter where I may be.

How do these men treat the other women in their lives, when they think treating a 23 year old with such disrespect is perfectly acceptable? Do they have daughters? God, I hope not. What kind of example are they setting for them? Would they not ring the neck of any man who dared treat her like that?

It really is pathetic. I am so lucky to be able to say I am one of the lucky few who has snagged a man with manners. I would be out of my mind embarrassed if Joe ever treated anyone (woman OR man!) with such disregard; and he never would. This goes for us women, as well; we should treat our male counterparts with respect, too.

We should all – myself included – learn to bite our tongues a little more.

End. Rant.

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The Art of Douche-bag-ism; Do’s and Do NOT’s.

Thanks, Google.

Let me explain. You know that guy that shows up at the club with 2 of his dumbest friends, already wasted because of their need to pre-game (because they’d never know what to say to women whilst sober), and proceeds to get in line behind you, then grabs the zipper on the back of your shirt, pretending he is going to unzip it? That’s a douche-bag. And once you notice and turn around armed with the deadliest look you can muster, he blames it on the douche in the plaid button-up and the three of them laugh like ten year olds at recess, after they stole the chubby kid’s peanut-butter and jelly.

Is it obvious I’ve experienced this exact scenario?

This post is inspired not only by my own experiences, but by those of my closest friends; run-ins with strangers, men we may know just a little bit, or even exes.

BUT – I will not waste any time explaining how to spot said douche-bag; by this point, we already know the guy throwing back Jager Bombs and popping his collar while yelling at the waitress for the lack of vodka in his Grey Goose and cranberry isn’t The One. So this is a small list of guidelines for those members of the opposite sex who think taking your shirt off in public is sexy.

You think you know what (the majority of) women want…but you have no idea.

DO: If you spot a girl at the bar and want to buy her a drink, buy her girlfriend another drink as well.

DO NOT: Show up with 3 shots: one for the girl you’re approaching, one for yourself and one for your friend. Now her friend is standing awkwardly in the background because you’re inconsiderate and cheap.

DO: If you think she’s pretty, politely tell her.

DO NOT: Slap her ass as she’s walking by, then give her a wink when she turns around ready to punch her harasser.

DO: Tell her you enjoy working out.

DO NOT: Ask her to grab your bicep, then ask her friends to do the same.

DO: Ask for her number, then call her the next day.

DO NOT: Ask for her number, then text her at 4AM asking to come over.

DO: Ask her for her number (again).

DO NOT: Yell across a parking lot, “YO, YOU GOT A NUMBER?” (Another embarrassing experience.)

DO: Ask her out to dinner.

DO NOT: Expect her to pay her half when the bill arrives. (Yep, been through that one too.)

DO: If you run into an ex, give a quick smile and a hello, then go about your business.

DO NOT: Run into a girl you once dated, then offer your condolences over the possibility of having ruined her night. Instead, go home and deflate your head a bit.

DO: Ask if she has a boyfriend, if you’d like to politely make sure before continuing to flirt.

DO NOT: Ask if she has a boyfriend, and when she says yes tell her she could do better then point at yourself.

DO: Hug her goodbye – or even give a kiss on the cheek – after the first meeting.

DO NOT: Try to eat her face after knowing her for five minutes. (This is assuming that the girl in this situation does not want to have her face eaten.)

DO: Send her a morning text; something sweet!

DO NOT: Send her a mirror picture at 7am of you in your boxers with the caption: “like what you see? send me something back”.

And don't EVER make this face.

Are there plenty of wonderful, intelligent, respectful men out there? Absolutely. I’m lucky enough to have one of them. Just as there are many undesirables representing my own gender.

 

So for those members of both sexes that make human beings look bad: get with the program. And lay off the vodka.

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