Tag Archives: happiness

My Sanity Has Three Phases

Thanks, Pinterest.

Thanks, Pinterest.










I feel as though my life has three phases, each lasting for a steady week or so before transitioning to the next.

Here they are in no particular order (except normalcy is never ever directly followed by another week of the same. that’s just crazy talk.):

Phase One: Normalcy. 

You know, just day-to-day whatever-ness. Work, food, wine, maybe a stubborn coffee ring on the cheap kitchen counter that needs a good scrub with a Mr. Eraser. Nothing to make me want to pound my head against the refrigerator.

Phase Two: Absolute fucking chaos. 

Just as phase one is winding down, I arrive home from work to find out the small dog has pissed on our couch in smelly revenge when husband took away her rawhide. Well played, asshole, well played. Cue us lifting it onto a snow pile on the front lawn. At least I’ll be getting a new couch out of the deal (Until then we squeeze onto the loveseat. Not romantic when two dogs are trying to squeeze in there, too). Perhaps something else is destroyed, a customer calls me a name, we get another eighteen feet of snow. Things continue to snowball until I am in the fetal position ripping out tufts of hair, probably with some kind of injury by now (to top things off), and likely doing shots of vodka before noon.

Phase Three: A refreshing stream of good luck. 

Like, laughter and rainbows and puppies that don’t piss on couches. That’s like heaven on earth in this household, people. In times like these the zoo doesn’t wake the household until at least 9:30 AM. The coffee maker doesn’t take so damn long to brew my cup (the Keurig is dying on us). I have three days off from work and we actually get the Christmas decorations put away before Valentine’s Day.

I love to see others smiling, having an awesome day, that kind of day we all wish we could have ALL. THE. TIME. Yesterday was that day for me and I’m still smiling.

Ah, refreshing. 

Yesterday morning I woke up and checked my Twitter for the first time in several days; The Daily Post had shared my piece I’d written in response to the Weekly Writing Challenge. AWESOME!! Being recognized by WordPress twice within just a few months made me hold my head a little higher. It feels pretty damn cool to say the least.

Then Joe and I headed into NYC last night for a taping of That Metal Show. With a little help I’d managed to score us free tickets and it was an amazing experience. I’d never been to a taping of any kind before, and the entire process was very interesting (clap here, look here, nod here, now laugh). Even better? We were seated right by the area each guest entered through, Myles Kennedy grabbed my hand, and I’m pretty sure my giant noggin will be all over your television screen this Saturday night. So if you’re a fan of the show (or if you just want to see me trying not to look awkward on TV) tune in to VH1 Classic this weekend at 11PM!!

Some highlights:

Myself and Mark Tremonti of Alter Bridge!

Myself and Mark Tremonti of Alter Bridge!

The set!

The set.


It was a great time and a very energetic crowd. The cast and crew were so nice.

Hosts and guests mulling about after the taping.

Hosts and guests mulling about after the taping.



We went to bed all smiles last night. And this morning? I woke up to this.

I’ve been waiting months, hoping Offbeat Bride would feature us, and they did. Best day (and a half) ever

So, cheers to Phase Three. I’m dreading the end of it all; by this time next week I should be buried under my comforter with an empty bottle of wine.

What’s the best day you’ve had recently? 

P.S. – That awesome banner up there with me all half-zombified? My extremely bad-ass friend Adam over at Chowderhead made that for me. So if you’d like to spruce up your own page with a fresh look, please click here and hire this dude to get the job done. You won’t be disappointed.




Filed under Uncategorized

revel in your own heart

Scream of Pop by ludicrouslouisa  (DeviantArt)

Scream of Pop by ludicrouslouisa (DeviantArt)



there is no quiet in

constant, guttural


these possessive,

intricate spinnings

leave tire tracks

on young skin


learn to relearn

the innocence of



smell of cold leather

the breath the first

rush of cold air takes

warm feet on

winter’s wood floor

whiskey on his lips

lingering perfume

her hair on your pillowcase

fingers hunched over journal

morning, any morning

rain or snow or ripe sun


a black tongue

is for the weak

revel in your own heart,

the cherry of your being.



Filed under Uncategorized, Writing

Of Me

This poem was a hard one for me, but so very, very easy to write.

I have questioned my own size and shape since I was thirteen years old. After a school nurse was disappointed with my weigh-in, I went home and buried my face in my mother’s chest and wondered what I was “supposed” to look like. Too short, too tall, too thin, too wide. I drink and I eat sweets, but not a moment goes by without me questioning my shape and my own self worth along with it; these thoughts are a plague to those struggling with self esteem issues, from the time they climb out of bed to the moment they undress at night. And while each day is a struggle, I have managed to find small pockets of peace within myself. We are all different, and we are all beautiful in our own way. Who wants to look like everyone else? What a boring world we would be living in. I try daily to remind myself of all the other things I like about me. To all those others sailing along in my boat: take a deep breath, throw your shoulders back, and make the mirror your new best friend. After all, confidence is sexy.


Nicole Marie




such rough patchwork

on such a young thing,

no glass smooth flesh

just marble valleys

on a pale pink landscape.


those smiling lines on her back

aren’t the wings of a butterfly,

those glowing highways

on her thighs

don’t twist with assurance.














a real life caricature

all lowered brow, all rising forehead,

the living reflection

of a fun house mirror

she looks away as she dresses.


cemented tongueless

in a wavering cave

the elements get in easily here,

she hides her breath

until the flooding stops.


nothing matters

when the roadway

is littered with flaws,

she only trips

over the rubble.


all is wrapped in silence

when she wakes,

eyes shut tight

no shedding litters

the bedroom floor.


how can she grow

when her sight

is a fogged mirror,

when words fall so hard

from a slapping screen door?


that soft skin,

gathered like wrinkled blankets

beneath each arm,

it is not a sign of prosperity,

she does not raise her chin.














no other is in want

of a hard bruised shook up

stretch of pale and bone

holding some view of the world

in her wide-knuckled grasp.


i am, she says,

a well-wrapped box

of weeds and good intentions,

worn at the seams,

no card attached.


but she will never learn

the weight of her own gravity,

she will never see

the blue of the sky

if she never raises her eyes to it.















Poem originally featured on ChowderHead.


Filed under Uncategorized, Writing

I’m Not Dead

I was truly amazed by this.

I was truly amazed by this.


You know…in case you were wondering…or something….::runs away crying::

After a week of hold-ups ruined our original settlement date, Joe and I finally signed our lives away for the next 30 years as the proud owners of a beautiful new home! We finalized everything on the eve of Thanksgiving, and spent most of that night and Thanksgiving day moving our crap in. We still have a few odds and ends to collect. We even have a kitty already! Pictures and videos to come. I plan on being a crazy cat lady. (Not really…) But I’ve already taken a disturbing amount of pictures of her lounging.

And so I come to you from the Tree House Coffee Shop, a cute little place close to our home, where they have veggie sausage and put hearts in their lattes. They also have a crappy internet connection (or my Netbook is slowly dying), which proves my love to you since it has taken me half an hour just to get this far in my post. But – they have an internet connection. I’ve been missing only half because I’ve been unpacking and walking around pantless (just because I can); the other half is because no one can get to our house to give us cable and internet until Tuesday! I tried stealing the neighbors’ internet but everyone seems to keep a secured connection around here. Silly neighbors.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We still managed to cook a turkey, and ate it surrounded by boxes. I am thankful.

So in the last week I and/or Joe have, in our new home:

  • Cooked a turkey (Okay, that was him. I supervised while drinking wine.)
  • Drank a disgusting amount of beer. (There is nothing but Sam Adams bottles in the recycling bin…)
  • Started the Insanity workout (that was me)…and I think a few bones may be on the verge of brokenness.
  • Successfully cooked dinner and served it by candlelight. (Proudly, that was me)
  • Effed up the first attempt at making pumpkin pancakes. (Me…)
  • Had boy time in his fancy new garage (Joe, obviously).
  • Scrubbed the house from top to bottom (both of us!).
  • Ordered a pizza and drank more beer (both again).
  • Rearranged the living room 80 times (him).
  • Inherited lots and lots of furniture (us!).
  • (We) kissed and hugged in our kitchen. ❤
  • (We) cuddled in bed with our new kitty. (It’s been a while since Joe has been around cats, but he was always allergic. So far, so good. Fingers and toes and eyes crossed.)
  • (We) were rear-ended (that’s what she said) on our way home from Home Depot. The moron will be paying. Everyone is fine, thank goodness.
  • (I) have never been more excited to purchase a trash can and dish rags.
  • (We) have missed an episode of The Walking Dead. I am deeply saddened.
  • (We) have never been happier.


I’ll be checking in with everyone as soon as we have our own internet. This turtle-like connection has gotten to me.

Happy Friday, everyone! And happy last day of November!





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