expired

(http://notateenmum.com/category/surrealism-2/)

I am stuck standing in the

mud of a time where words got

knotted together because there was no

lack of voices in our home, just the constant

knocking of chatter against the windows and the

walls of weather, what’s-for-dinner

but all of it was like the tiniest of earthquakes in

my chest, that old reliable constant

loud or barely heard it was there,

the warmest grip on my bones in the

bluish hue of the television

 

but now

 

I am knocking on the walls and

holding my breath to hear if my

memories come pounding back, and setting a

table for a solitary two is only romantic

sometimes because there is a catch,

when you are exchanging

expired stories over breakfast eventually

they all run out and the silence comes,

that deafening reminder to turn up

the heat, turn up the radio, anything to

take the edge off

merry, merry, merry.

Just stopping by to say Happy Holidays to you and yours.

Laugh, love, drink, be merry and be safe. Cant wait to read all the holiday posts!

xoxo,

Nicole Marie

P.S.

I hope Santa brings you a Jagwa for Christmas.

My Head is Spinning!

Somehow, this explains how I’m feeling.

So I’ve been a little MIA from my blogging duties this past week. Not that I’m a post-every-single-day kinda gal anyway, but I’ve been especially neglectful lately. But in my defense, a whole lot has been happening! Aside from me trying to make that moo-lah with lame 5 AM shifts and long weekend shifts (leaving no time for anything except a glass of wine or two…maybe three… before bed!), Joe and I make settlement on our home this Wednesday! So I’ve been tossing everything I own neatly packing my belongings into boxes and totally breaking the tape gun knowing exactly what I’m doing while I tape each one shut. (I also just tried to be cool with the strike-through and can’t figure out how to turn the font black like the rest of my post. *Le sigh*)

Meanwhile, Joe is stressing and drinking way too much coffee and buying plastic bins because his books are too good for cardboard boxes (kidding, the plastic bins are convenient) and I feel like I have no idea what’s going on and I’m supposed to be moving everything I own into our new place on Wednesday. My stomach is in knots. Like those crazy boating knots. So in a few weeks time my future in-laws are visiting from Florida for the holidays, and our belongings must be packed neatly away so Joe we (there I go again) can hang Christmas lights! Hooray! Totally stoked about having my own little writing getaway as well.

On another exciting note, after weeks of whoring around my short story, “Sirens Underwater”, it has been accepted for publication by Philadelphia’s Apiary Magazine!!!! The issue will be released December 7th, and will be available in bookstores in the Philadelphia area. I’m hoping it will also appear online, so I can link it up all over the place. This is my first publishing gig and I’m stoked. I’ve also been invited to the issue’s release party on December 7th. Time to plan my sophisticated writer outfit.

With all this (happy) stress I’ve been neglecting my love for running! But today, the best friend and I went for a great 4 mile run. I can’t wait to have a space to hang all of my running bibs, too!

But, as busy as life gets, I could never ever neglect the most important part of every Monday: Romantic Monday, that is, hosted by the suave Edward Hotspur. I’ll be posting mine shortly. I encourage everyone to participate, and read some of the other fantastic posts that have been popping up over the last few weeks. So, blog yours and link it up at Edward’s page!

It’s a beautiful day here in Jersey; the weather is in the upper 60’s. Counting my lucky stars after how blessed we were that Sandy left us with no damage. Praying for those who were just..devastated. Click here to donate to those who were affected by Hurricane Sandy. Anything and everything helps.

Here’s an awesome song. Enjoy!

 

A Personal Reminder

“Stop thinking about the past, and don’t worry too much about what’s going to happen in the future. Your presence is a present, so live for today, and appreciate everyone and everything you have. Stop thinking about what you don’t have, what you wish you had, who walked out of your life, and whatever else that falls in that category. Think about what you have, who you have in your life, and how fortunate you are.”

– Junethea Crystal Centeno

A Mrs. Colleen Brown over at The Chatter Blog recently blogged about what she is thankful for, in a post entitled Merry Christmas To Me. While I posted about a few things I am thankful for around Thanksgiving, I felt it was time to post about those kinds of things again, especially because those things are exactly what I am struggling to keep focus on at the moment.

I had a consultation with a therapist last night and it was better than I expected. Joe drove me there – he is so supportive and I am so thankful – and dropped me off in front of the building, in a tiny, rich, beautiful neighborhood about 40 minutes from our house. Christmas lights were strung from every quaint shop and the weather was abnormally warm.

She greeted me donning a sequined Christmas sweater and I immediately smiled as she lead me into a soothing room where a Yankee candle was lit (French Vanilla; I felt the need to look).

I felt comfortable enough to immediately spill my heart out and even shed a few tears. This is good. I told her I have been blogging about my issue, and she praised me for it. I received homework which included doing one thing each day that makes me happy. There was a list, with spaces to add my own ideas. I took an idea today that was already on it: Light a candle.

I unwrapped and lit a new candle Joe and I bought last week. It’s called something like “Log Cabin”, and really does remind me of the woods. I checked it off. Tomorrow I may check off “Take a bubble bath”. I haven’t taken one of those in quite a few years.

I already have plans to see her again. Even a consultation proved helpful.

I am feeling very, very calm – and happy – at the moment. 🙂

Anyway, to the true inspiration behind today’s blog: Why I will have a very merry Christmas this year:

1) I am loved by a wonderful man.

2) I am loved by my parents and a group of close friends.

3) I can pull  off a short haircut.

4) I am creative.

5) I have a pretty decent singing voice.

6) I am strange and Joe doesn’t mind.

7) I’m a little bit crazy and Joe doesn’t mind.

8) I am healthy.

9) I may not be rich, but I’m not poor.

10) I am sitting in front of the television, drinking red wine and watching HGTV.

11) I have lost a lot of weight, with the aid of nothing but exercise and my own will power.

12) I love to blog; I love reading the blogs of others.

13) B101 and 98.1 have provided me with unlimited Christmas music on all my lonely drives around town.

14) Singing at the top of my lungs while driving has really been making me feel better lately.

15) My income has raised significantly since switching jobs and that makes me very, very happy.

16) My Christmas shopping was done days ago.

17) Joe’s parents (who live in Florida) will be arriving this Saturday morning; we haven’t seen them since last Christmas.

18) There is a light at the end of every tunnel. I know this.

19) Christmas morning will consist of Bloody Marys.

20) Christmas morning is when I get to give Joe all of his presents.

I am fortunate.

For a moment, I’ve come unglued. But I’m slowly becoming reattached.

Happy, Happy Holidays.