my son chases sunrays that filter in and
dance across our living room floor,
and my heart is heavy.
in all those late-night conversations
let’s have a child, let’s move mountains, create miracles
there was a should we? that lingered on my husband’s lips,
life, I said. it happens all around us. it stops for nothing.
not even for the darkest of days.
we still love, we still create.
we chase sunrays,
shape happiness with shaking hands
drive cars and drink wine and laugh
and laugh and laugh
and then we cry for all that we cannot change.
but then we sigh, take another sip, compose ourselves.
hug our children and whisper I love you and watch
our favorite television shows and drown out all the badness.
I touch my son’s cheek
I dream of his future
still, I regret nothing.