Of Me

This poem was a hard one for me, but so very, very easy to write.

I have questioned my own size and shape since I was thirteen years old. After a school nurse was disappointed with my weigh-in, I went home and buried my face in my mother’s chest and wondered what I was “supposed” to look like. Too short, too tall, too thin, too wide. I drink and I eat sweets, but not a moment goes by without me questioning my shape and my own self worth along with it; these thoughts are a plague to those struggling with self esteem issues, from the time they climb out of bed to the moment they undress at night. And while each day is a struggle, I have managed to find small pockets of peace within myself. We are all different, and we are all beautiful in our own way. Who wants to look like everyone else? What a boring world we would be living in. I try daily to remind myself of all the other things I like about me. To all those others sailing along in my boat: take a deep breath, throw your shoulders back, and make the mirror your new best friend. After all, confidence is sexy.

xoxo,

Nicole Marie

bruised

Quantcast

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

such rough patchwork

on such a young thing,

no glass smooth flesh

just marble valleys

on a pale pink landscape.

 

those smiling lines on her back

aren’t the wings of a butterfly,

those glowing highways

on her thighs

don’t twist with assurance.

bwme

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a real life caricature

all lowered brow, all rising forehead,

the living reflection

of a fun house mirror

she looks away as she dresses.

 

cemented tongueless

in a wavering cave

the elements get in easily here,

she hides her breath

until the flooding stops.

 

nothing matters

when the roadway

is littered with flaws,

she only trips

over the rubble.

 

all is wrapped in silence

when she wakes,

eyes shut tight

no shedding litters

the bedroom floor.

 

how can she grow

when her sight

is a fogged mirror,

when words fall so hard

from a slapping screen door?

 

that soft skin,

gathered like wrinkled blankets

beneath each arm,

it is not a sign of prosperity,

she does not raise her chin.

anatomy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

no other is in want

of a hard bruised shook up

stretch of pale and bone

holding some view of the world

in her wide-knuckled grasp.

 

i am, she says,

a well-wrapped box

of weeds and good intentions,

worn at the seams,

no card attached.

 

but she will never learn

the weight of her own gravity,

she will never see

the blue of the sky

if she never raises her eyes to it.

bwwedding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poem originally featured on ChowderHead.

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106 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized, Writing

106 responses to “Of Me

  1. Good, enjoyed the canter through your mind.

    Jim

  2. You’re fairly cute-girl-shaped, with intelligent highlights, glitter and husband love on top of that. So there.

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  4. Mmm.. everybody is similar in the fact that each is unique.

  5. Pretty inspirational! I love the poem!

  6. Congrats on getting pressed, Nicole. This is a fabulous honor for a fabulous writer! Way to go!

  7. Nice poem and beautiful painting

  8. Reblogged this on Destination Limitless Blog and commented:
    really like this.

  9. Simply beautiful, Nicole. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!

  10. Freshly pressed as well, good stuff.

    Jim

  11. What more can I say, Chicky? Congrats on getting your *first badge! It was very much deserved!! (oh, and thanks for the plug :))

  12. This is just amazing. I think it relates to many young women these days. Thank you for this beautiful little trinket of a poem.

  13. Beautiful writing, and beautiful message. We’ll done!

  14. anitadesignstudio

    Go you!! Well done, Nicole Marie. Very well deserved 🙂

  15. Totally relatable, thanks for this.

  16. Beautifully made, we are woman! I have fallen into deep like of myself. Embrace us, womanhood.

  17. im agree,, everybody is unique. be proud of you,,

  18. Great poetry and images. You are beautiful, inside and out.

  19. a creative writing..
    nice poem.. 🙂

  20. anubeysachi

    Reblogged this on Anubeysachi.

  21. This poem is amazing. Thank you for writing this 🙂

  22. Reblogged this on Simply Me and commented:
    Beautiful

  23. omg woman, do you know how much of a service you’ve done to people like me with poem of yours…i dont know if i can befriend the mirror yet but it is heartwarming to know that there is someone who knows how you feel. this heals. lovely and congratulations on being freshly pressed.

    • Thank you so much. For you to be able to find some kind of solace in my words is more than I could hope for! You definitely are not alone. Lets both work on seeing the beauty in ourselves. 🙂

  24. stretch of pale and bone: you paint a clear image, burn it

  25. Engrossing honesty, thrive on!

  26. As I got older I noticed wrinkles on my wrinkles and my skin was not satin smooth but like sandpaper and needing moisture. The illusion of good looks is fleeting to say the least.

  27. Hi, simply beautiful writing!!

  28. I am not a repeat commentor. It is only a figment of your imagination….

  29. It moved me. Many thanks and much love to you.

  30. A very moving and sadly recognizable feeling of self-doubt and self-hatred. Why is it so hard to love ourselves? I have tried to instill in my daughters a sense of self-worth and the desire to be true to yourself and different. It isn’t easy in today’s 24/7 media world and airbrushed everything. Thank you for sharing this.

    • You’re right, it isn’t easy in today’s world. It’s horrible that the majority of people can relate to this post, but I am also glad that some others can find some sort of solace in it as well. Thank you for reading!

  31. Liked this – well done on being FP’d!

  32. Monica DiNatale

    Very well done. Thanks for sharing.

  33. Reblogged this on Just keep swimming and commented:
    I felt this. Deep inside… you are such an inspiration.

  34. silverline7

    Reblogged this on silverline7 and commented:
    Everybody is beautiful on its own way.

  35. Is this your handwriting? Recent? Just curious because it is informative from a scientific standpoint. I am very happy for you that you are doing your best to find positives. I went through similar and finally realized that happiness comes from self-acceptance within and not from trying to fit into societal expectations or demands. The question is how do you FEEL ? Those questions are coming from what I call the “itty bitty shitty committee” in our heads – they never have anything good to say. ((hugs))

  36. Reblogged this on Life in Other Words and commented:
    Beauty in other words 🙂 simply lovely.

  37. If that transcendent poem wasn’t enough to blow my mind, the closing pic put me over the edge.
    Yours is a beautiful soul, Nicole.

  38. “how can she grow
    when her sight
    is a fogged mirror,
    when words fall so hard
    from a slapping screen door?”

    Loved this part Nicole… Hope you write more such pieces..
    Stay blessed. xoxo…

  39. Love it!! Your very inspirational

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  42. You are a poet after my own heart…such powerful writing, reminds me of why I’m a poet: to create a world where words run wild.

  43. Pingback: #BeReal – NICOLE MARIE | hastywords

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